Friday, March 26, 2010

Good Luck


I had a really bad week this week. Got into a car accident this Monday, and I had to postpone my Asia trip for one month. Good thing I don't have to pay extra for the flight ticket. On Wednesday, my dog Tyson died. He's almost 15 years old. I sent him to an animal hospital to give him an euthanasia shot. It was a pain to watch Tyson suffering, and it was more painful to sign the euthanasia contract. Therefore, I went to Hsia Lai Temple to pray for good luck and releasing souls from purgatory for Tyson. Although I'm not a Buddhist, I have to believe in Buddha will wash my bad luck for me.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Traumatized

LZ and myself were going to eat dinner. On the way, we stopped for a signal line. There were many cars in front of us waiting for the signal light as well, I was the last one in the line. All of the sudden, I heard a huge sound of tire scratching the ground. I thought "Where?" And then I saw a car approaching me in a very high speed from my rear mirror. I had a thought of moving my car to somewhere else. Maybe just a little bit to the right. Before my brain could give my arms the command, I yelled "Shit." And then my world became black for a second. I opened my eyes slowly, and asked LZ to see if she's okay. She shaked her head. I parked my car on the side of the street. I smelled the smoke. I tried to unbuckle my seatbelt and realized it was broken. My electronic systems were broken too. I called the police. And then I walked out and checked out the cars. My rear bumper was damaged really badly. The airbags of the other driver's car are already hanging there. Holy crap, my poor car. What was the driver doing? How could he hit a stopped car. I guess he wasn't paying attention while driving, perhaps he was making phone calls, texting, or something.
After doing the police report and exchanging the information with the other driver, we went to change a car at home, heading to lawyer's office. I acted really calm like nothing happened for the whole time. To be honest, half of my mind was gone already because I was traumatized. It took a few hours to recover. That was scary and very bad luck. I couldn't find of any ways to avoid the accident. So people, please always pay attention while driving. Always always.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Sisterhood

I've been worrying about my younger sister since last night. I couldn't fall in sleep, I dreamed about it, I woke up with tears. I didn't know what happened to my sister hurts me so much as well. I still remember, I told her that I will always support her no matter what happens when she got married in 2008. She got nobody to tell but me because she doesn't want our parents to worry. She thinks I'm the only one who can help. I didn't know I care about her so much until this point. No matter how old we are, my younger sister is always a little kid to me. I have to find a way to help her.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Attitude that matters


I was feeling very upset 2 days ago since I got yelled by my dad with sharp words again. I had a thought that I wanted to quit again, and went for my 3d gaming career. This wasn't the first time. After I started taking care of more of the company stuff, he yelled at me with sharp words every time. I felt like I couldn't stand to work with only negative energy. Yesterday, I took my mom to have lunch in San Gabriel after dropping off our family tax return documents at our CPA's office. We had a great talk. And I figured... It's my attitude that matters. It's my attitude that makes my dad mad all the time. Working in my dad's company, they get a feeling that I don't care and I don't want to be involved. My heart is at somewhere else. On the other hand, I don't have the enthusiasm. That's right, I've been always thinking about what I did before in game companies. Working for others and working for your business are totally different stories. When I was working at other's companies, even though I had enthusiasm, I still care myself the most. When I want to take days off, I do that; when I don't want to work, I don't. Especially when I was working at EA, I struggled about my work occupies my whole life. Working in my dad's company, I have to consider work is the top priority like my dad does with the idea that I'm going to be the only one who's going to take over the whole company after my dad retires, perhaps in 5 years. There are a lot of things to learn. As for now, what I need to do is to move on my mind. I have the responsibility to make this company work for the rest of my life. This is a huge responsibility, and I have to adjust my attitude towards it. Be more detailed, be more passionate, be more responsible for every little thing. Not just working 7 hours per day and I'm done. It's never done.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Newton's Cradle


Every company is like a tiny ball in a Newton's Cradle, it's chained together with the balls next to it. We deal with many different customers, we deal with many vendors. If one vendor screws, we screw, customer screw; if one customer screw, we screw, vendor screw. To vendor, we're customer; to customer, we're vendor. Everything is hooked up with layers of relationship. What it matters? Money and time.